My Unlucky Day

I'm titling this post "My Unlucky Day" because of all the 40 students in class, this kid decided to sit next to me today. Well, not exactly. The classroom had 200 seats and everyone had an empty seat to their left and right, so he sat 2 seats to my right. I heard every little noise this kid made, every time he cleared his throat, every time he yawned loudly or sighed loudly. Some outbursts below:

Prof: "I reserved a few copies of the book in the Math Library."
Kid: "Oh, is that why they got recalled?"

Prof: "Are there any questions about last week's material?"
Kid: (staring directly at teacher) "Actually, not about the material, but I was wondering if anyone found a cell phone after class because I lost my cell phone and I couldn't find it any where. I even went to the lost and found, so I was wondering if anyone found it."

Prof: "Are there any other questions?"
Kid: "Can you go over problems 2.26, 2.31, 2.40, 2.43, and 2.50?"
Prof: "Let's go over it during the break since there is a lot of material to cover today".
(during break, the prof was speaking to him privately aka not loudly)
Kid: "Ohhh!!!" (he said this very loudly, and it echoed)

Prof: "What's the difference between probability and statistics?"
Kid: "Statistics uses data and probability is just B.S."

Prof: "What is S-squared?"
Kid: "That one is just AGH-HUHHHH!" (he cleared his throat very very loudly and I went deaf in my right ear)